For anyone who knows me well, knows that my dream has always been to be able to work form home while having my kids home with me. Its basically my #1 reason for wanting to be a graphic designer in the first place. When I first starting working from home it was actually kinda by accident. The company I worked for got bought out by an out-of-state company, and i was actually kind of forced to quit my job. Then they came to their senses and realized they needed me, and that I could technically do my job just fine remotely.
I was thrilled, I would finally have the opportunity to possible fulfill my dream, seeing at the time i didnt have any kids. I also didnt know how difficult it in fact would be to work from home. Not the job part. That was easy. I love my job, so it doesnt really feel like work. But being a remote employee definitely comes with its challenges. For one, you have to make sure you are in fact an asset to the company, being that they dont get to see you walk into the office everyday like all their other employees. And two its easy to be and feel left out of your team and the day-to-day tasks, so you must remember to constantly keep in touch, be it video conferences, instant messages, email, or hell just pick up the telephone (in my case a VoIP phone).
So Ill be 100% honest with all of you, I was scared shitless when I did become pregnant, on whether I would be able to handle caring for a newborn while working. My number one fear being, "what would I do if I was on a call with a client and the baby starts hysterically crying?" I was so in fear of how I would be able to balance both being a stay at home mom and a work from home mom, that I decided to give up on my dream entirely and asked my sister if she could watch Matthew, mon-fri 9-5, while I worked from home.
I always told myself that when he was on more of a schedule and I could plan around his naps, that maybe i would then keep him home with me. But as every mother knows, you cant always depend on a childs naptime. One day it could be 45mins and the next 2hrs15mins. It could be 1 long nap, 2 short naps, or no nap at all. But I always had this deep feeling of missing out on all of my sons firsts.
I knew my sister would take lots of pics and videos. We also often facetime at lunch so I can see him and talk to him. And I love that its family that is watching my son grow up. But Id be lying if I didnt say I was a little jealous. I see how he reaches for my sister. Almost like shes his mother too.
Now dont get me wrong, I love their bond, and am happy that he loves her and is comfortable with her. I hope they have the same type of relationship I have with her kids (my neice and nephew). But it does sting a little when we are both around and he reaches for her. And i cant blame him. His time is basically split between the two of us. I know I get him on weekends and such, but during the week, by time we get homes, its dinner, bath and bed. Not much quality time if you ask me.
I was originally a little nervous to talk to my sister about it. I didnt want her to think I was taking him away due to something she did. And I know she counts on the money each week, and I didnt want to take that away too. But I had to at least try to live out my dream right? So I basically put it out there to my sis that maybe 2 days a week he could stay home with me. And on those two days she could go clean our friends house (for which she gets made alot more hourly than I pay her daily). Turns out, she was kind of thinking the same thing and didnt want to hurt my feelings by having my think she was trying to "get rid of my son" lol.
Unfortunately, at the time we had this discussion we were currently living with my parents during out bath renovation. I told her I thought we should kind of do a trial period once I moved back into our house, to see how it would work. As i didnt want to try it at my moms, where I had my moms help, lots of room, and get comfortable with that setting only to fail at it once we got back to our normal routine.
We agreed, and figured the week of July 23rd would be perfect, as my sis and her family were going to be out of town for Lobster mini season that Wed-Fri. Well thats this week, and I feel like I want to make sure to document it and see how it either works out or doesnt. Im hoping it does, because being with my lil man will always trump my work day!
