mommy meltdowns

                                                       Source: etsy.com via Lisa Bartek on Pinterest

as a mom, a wife, a woman....hell, as a person, we all experience an occasional meltdown. And today just happen to be that day for me.....

it all started off at 3am this morning. as Ive mentioned a couple times in my most recent posts, Matthews been sick. ALOT. Its hard as a mom to see you baby get sick. Especially how often as matthew has been getting sick. it puts that little question in the back of my mind, "Is it something Im doing? Something im exposing him too? Feeding him? Not feeding him?" The list goes on and on. I try to tell myself that all babies get sick. But its hard to convince myself thats truly the case. Especially when you have friends whos babies have never been sick, let alone this often, and are only a month or two younger than matthew.

I think ive been to the pediatricians office more in the past 3 weeks than Ive been to my own doctor in the past year. Partially due to an overprotective new father, who constantly thinks we should take the baby to the doctor. I think I bring him in more often just to ease hubs mind than to actually get answers. Sometimes its justifiable, like the recent virus/rash situation, but other times Ive been given the side-eye from the nurses too, "He's teething, hes a baby, hes ok, dont worry." All things I know. But, still, i manage to take the time off from work, spend the extra $30 copay to "see" the dr for 5 mins, and then go on our merry way with the advice to give him some motrin or tylenol if you see hes really uncomfortable.

Then i go back to the over-thinking side of me. I feel like were constantly giving him medicine. I dont like the idea of pumping medicine into his little body. We already give him zantac every morning and afternoon so he can keep his food down. But now, also the cold medicine (Azithromycin i think?), mortin/tylenol for teething, and breathing treatments when necessary. Again, this just sounds like a lot to me. Couldnt I be doing something better for him? Keeping him healthier so he doesnt get sick as often?

But back to my mommy meltdown. So this morning, 3am remember? Matthew wakes up. Basically right at the 7 hour mark of when I last gave him Motrin. I try to calm him down. Try to get him to go back to sleep. Change his diaper. Rock him. Basically anything to not give him more medicine. I even resort to bringing him back into our bed to fall asleep. Which I accomplish in a matter of 10mins, only for Matthew to be woken up by our barking dog.

Then theres more crying. And hubs is finally awake (yes, somehow hes been sleeping through this whole thing), and starts yelling. Im not quite sure if its at me or matthew. But somewhere in the mist of all the yelling i catch a "stop babying him!" EXCUSE.ME?!?!?!? Hes 9 months old. Ironic I know, but HE.IS.STILL.A.BABY!!! Now im mad, exhausted, irritated, and on the verge of tears (i seriously cry at everything these days) but if he thinks that Im babying him and that his solution will work better, Im all for trying it.

So I put Matthew back in his crib, give him his pacifier, blankie, and turn on the noise machine. I hop back in bed myself and feel absolutely terrible as all I can hear is his little cries over the monitor. (please know, I would never let me son cry more than absolutely necessary, and it took every ounce of willpower not to just go right in there and pick him up) But I wanted hubs to realize that his "not babying" solution, just wasnt going to cut it. Finally after about 7 mins (yes a whole 7 mins it took him) hubs got up himself and tried to calm him down. 

Now, a lil background on hubs, he gets frustrated really easily when he doesnt have a "quick solution" to something. So when Matthew starts crying he thinks we should be able to do something immediately to soothe him. Yes, in a perfect world this would be awesome, but guess what? HE'S.A.BABY! it doesnt really work like that. Needless to say hubs gets frustrated alot when it comes to matthew and not being able to calm him down. Especially when it interrupts his own sleep. (HA! welcome to a mothers world!)

Basically, the night morning ended with me back in the nursery, rocking matthew to sleep, waiting for the 2nd dose of motrin to kick in. Finally around 4:30am I was able to peacefully lay him back down and sneek back into our room. Hubs was now watching TV due to not being able to get back to bed. I knew immediately, that the rest of this day was just going to go down hill.

And sure enough, i was right. No need to go into detail, as I think you got enough of that above, but basically from the lack of sleep, exhaustion, frustration, and stress everything has gone into a butterfly effect. Its hard, especially for me--a person who likes to please everyone--to be able to control my emotions on a trying day like this. Things are said (by both parties) in the heat of the moment that arent necessarily truthful, but more to go for the juggler.  And its hard to forgive, even after apologies are said, because words still hurt.

After almost 12 years together, you would think we would know how to communicate with each other. Know how to hold back those hurtful words. Know how to calm each other down before either gets too heated. Instead, we go for the low blow? Instead, we spend another day angry? Instead, i feel absolutely helpless? To the point I suggested we see a counselor. Someone to help us communicate without ripping each other heads off, cuz at this point thats what Im ready to do. I may be balling my eyes out while I do it, but  it may just happen.

please tell me im not the only one with these mommy/wife meltdowns. please tell me, this too shall pass.......

fridays letters

dont forget to link up your fridays letters with the sweet season

dear hubby, tomorrow is your birthday, im going to let you sleep in till whenever you like,  i would suggest taking advantage of this gracious act of kindness, as you wont be getting this chance very often ;)

dear matthew, i cant believe how big your getting. I love watching you grow, but in all honesty, i would love it if you said my baby forever ;)

dear weight watchers, so far i love all the changes you've made to the program since I was last on it. barcode scanner app? umm hello where was that 2 years ago? and fruits are now zero points? SCORE!

dear scale, i see you staring at me everytime i walk by. i refuse to get on you before my next weigh-in. And please when the time does come, try to be nice

dear self, you can do this. youve dont it before. it is not a DIET, it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. you do not have restrictions. you can eat whatever youd like, just in moderation. stock up on fruits and veggies, they are zero points!

dear green market, im excited to venture off and explore you tomorrow. im hoping that ill be able to stock up on lots of fresh fruits and veggies so I can make more homemade baby food. now im counting on you to come through because I skipped over that section in publix yesterday with the hopes that you will be cheaper and healthier. DONT let me down.


dear deal sites, please stop having such good deals. you know i have a problem. and my bank account is dwindling by the day.

dear christmas lights, cant you take yourself down and wrap yourself all up in a neat little ball? or do you think we should be rednecks this year and just let them stay up till next christmas? kidding (maybe)

dear hubs, think of the aforementioned gracious act of kindness as your birthday present, because as Ive said before, you are the hardest person to get gifts for, and since you havent given me any sort of clue as to what you want, you get nothing. :P

dear matthew, i know mommy is normally the one to give you your last feeding for the day and then put you down for the night, but now that mommy is back to doing weight watchers, that means daddy is going to be the one to do that with you on wednesday nights. i know this past week it threw you off a little, and daddy was a little overwhelmed, but this week please try to be a good boy for him.

and per usual, ill leave you with a pic

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

when i said i do......

two years ago today i said i do

to a man i could not live with out

a man i wished of marrying for so long.

a man i dreamt about becoming a father

a man i trusted with my heart

a man i called my best friend

 i remember it like yesterday

i spent the night away from my soon-to-be husband

i woke up with my mother and sister at the hotel

it rained in the morning

but they say its good luck when it rains on your wedding day

i got ready with my girls

 

 while my seminoles beat the gators

and while the guys got ready downstairs

shots and all

 

i had dreamt of this day since i was a little girl

knowing my father would walk me down the aisle

 where i would join my prince

and our family and friends would watch

as a close friend performed our beautiful ceremony

adding special touches that really symbolized our relationship

and what it had become over the past 10 years

we had written our own vows

something he wanted us to do

something i was a little shy to do in front of so many people

but they were beautiful

he went first, then me

ive kept those small papers

with our loving words on them

his a little shorter, but just as powerful

his went like this

and mine like this

those words mean even more to me today

than they did when we said them to each other

we were no longer just

matt & lisa

we were

husband & wife

and now

two years later

we are daddy & mommy

~matt~

i love you more than words can express

you are the man of my dreams

a father to our son

and my best friend

happy anniversary

love

your one and only

also linking up with Becky to connect with other 20 something wifes, mommies, and wannabe photographers ;)

wedded bliss wednesdays: gift giving

2 posts in 1 day? i know crazy right? ;)

With the holidays only right around the corner, I think it was perfectly fitting for Allie & Kay to choose GIFT GIVING as this weeks Wedded Bliss Wednesdays theme.

What is the best gift to give your husband?

This is actually kind of hard for me because I absolutely love to GIVE gifts to people. Like I seriously take way to much time to find the perfect gift for each and every person for their birthday, christmas, anniversary, you name! And although I love getting gift cards as a present, I absolutely despise giving them! theyre so impersonal! But particularly for my hubby, if I could give him a boat, even just a small used bass boat, i think he would sh*t a brick. thats how badly he wants one. lol

What is a meaningful gift that you can give that does not cost money?

Honestly, I think now-a-days he would just like for me to give him the "ok" to go out with the guys. lol. Not that he has to ask permission or anything, but i know it means alot for him to be able to go relax and have fun with the guys without feeling guilty that he left me at home with the baby.

What is the best gift you have given to him?

Just one? Im such a good gift giver! Ill name a few of my fav gifts to him: Linex for his truck, Sirius Satelite Radio, Costa Del Mar sunglasses, a grill, and oh yeah our son! ;)

What is the best gift he has given to you?

Definitely our son. If it werent for him then I wouldnt have my precious lil boy. Ok, but mushy stuff aside, probably my iPad. I seriously use that thing everyday! Speaking of my iPad, I wish blogger would get a better iPad (and iPhone for that matter) app, i mean seriously come on people! get with the program!

What are you giving this holiday?

Hmmmm, i dunno yet. Were kinda tight on the whole budget thing this year, but Im sure to come up with something good. Maybe a new fishing pole? 

Dont forget to go link up!

fridays letters

its friday again already? man this week has flown by. hell this year is flying by. do you realize that next week is november already? christmas is in like what 59 days?

dear hubby, I am sorry that you still havent gotten you iPhone5, but mine is freaking awesome! hehe dear matthew, im so happy we were able to bring you to Disney for the first time last weekend, even with you being so sick, you did an absolutely wonderful job the entire trip! dear hurricane sandy, you better let up by tomorrow, sunday latest, I have to take matthew to a pumpkin patch and with your weather its not looking likely :( dear fall recipes, youre making me hungry, and yes i spent over $200 ($57 worth of coupons) today at the grocery store because i had to buy ingredients to make you, hopefully they all turn out good and Ill post pics next week. dear iPhone5, i cant believe you are finally mine, you have lived up to all my expectations, and umm hello? panorama where have you been all my life? i got some great pics around the world because of you. not literally, i mean Epcot around the world ;) dear bloggy friends, i got a cool surprise coming up in the next week or two, my first giveaway, yippie! no spoilers tho, you'll have to keep coming back to see what it is. dear hubby, because you and matthew always deserve two, i cant say Im not a little happy that your work dinner got canceled for tonight, now that means we get to have wine night at our house with our close friends! dear matthew, halloween is just around the corner and I cant wait to dress you up and take you trick or treating, i know you probably wont remember any of it, but halloween is mommys second favorite holiday (after christmas of course) and im also selfishly thinking ill get to enjoy all of you candy this year! thats why we have kids right? jk...or am i? lol

And Ill never leave you without a picture and i love that i captured this moment of my father and my son (even if it does look like hes teaching him how to pull his finger)

Dont forget to go link up with Ashley

wedded bliss wednesdays: marriage advice

So since I missed out on last weeks questions, and havent had a chance to ask hubs any of the questions for this week, Id figured I would just answer last weeks questions today! (confused yet? yeah me to, just read lol)

1. If you could give one piece of advice to any married (or soon-to-be married) couple, what would it be?
Enjoy being just the two of you. I know alot of ladies out there (including myself) are in a rush to start a family as quickly as possible after the wedding ends, but really take the time to enjoy it being just the two of you. husband.and.wife. you'll have kids to worry about the rest of your life. take impromptu vacations, sleep in as late as possible, go out to dinner at expensive restaurants, hell fly across country if you can afford it! lol.
Oh and my one personal moto: never go to bed angry with each other. after 10 years with my hubs, i can count on one hand the amount of times we've gone to sleep fighting. We may have to stay up to wee hours of the morning to solve of a disagreement (and it may just to be to agree to disagree), but this way when you wake up, you can start the day fresh and forget about the previous days problems.

2. What is an absolute MUST for any marriage/relationship?
HONESTY! oh and TRUST. but I guess those both go hand and hand. And im not talking about just telling the truth to one another, im talking about honesty of the heart. meaning there are no secrets, and there is no need to even have secrets because you want to tell the other person everything. including things that make you angry, happy, sad, hopeful, and everything else! 

3. What is the #1 no-no in a marriage?
Cheating. I just hate that word. I would rather the person just say that they no longer want to be with the other, rather than going behind their back and fooling around with someone else. And this goes for both the man and woman. Again this goes back to the honesty and truth thing. It should never come to this point, but at least be honest with yourself and/or your partner about your relationship. 

4.What is the biggest lesson you have learned from your marriage?
I know it may be easy to pick a fight when you disagree about something with your significant other, but Ive come to realize that in the end, we are both in this together. Neither one of us is out to hurt the other, and were always looking out for the best interest for the other. So if there is something that is really on your mind, you have to remember to communicate with your partner. You may think its easier to just let something slide by, opposed to starting a fight about it, but if your honest (theres that word again! lol) with each other, then it will be easier to just tell your partner how you are feeling, rather than letting it boil over a couple days, weeks, or even months, and it turns into something way more, when you could have just said what was on your mind. (yes that was the longest run-on sentence ever!)

i can truly say i married the love of my life, and although he may get on my nerves ever now and again, i couldnt imagine living my life without him.

Dont forget to go link up with Allie & Kay

 

ww: these smiles

these smiles fill my heart with so much love

Thats all.

p.s. did you know Chelsey chose our pic as one of her fav summer pics! :D

linking up with Jenni & Chelsey again

wedded bliss wednesdays: date night

Yes I know its Thursday. I dont know why this didnt publish yesterday, but whatevs, Holy moly this week has flown by! Time to link up again.

How often do you and your husband have a date night?
We dont necessarily plan one out, but since the baby was born we try to go out by ourselves at least once every 2 weeks. Even if it was just for a quick dinner at Panera Bread. We are lucky enough to live close to my parents and sister, who both completely enjoy watching Matthew for us whenever we need some time to ourselves. I think now, I have to focus more on how we can incorporate family activities into our routine. And I dont mean the normal everyday stuff, Im talking about in-the-making plans for a trip to a local pumpkin patch kind of thing.

What did you do on your first date?
lol. No need to rehash memories. Lets just say, we never really had a "first" date. The first time I went anywhere with Matt, it was actually my first time ever skipping school. My exbest friend had decided we were going to skip 4th period and convinced me. Her friend Matt (hubs) was leaving school so he said he would take us. When push came to shove, said best friend found out there was a pop quiz in her 4th hour and she couldnt miss it. And me being totally paranoid as is, to skip class, didnt want to show up to my class late, so I went with this complete stranger. (i know, so not a good role model) Turns out, the reason he was leaving school was to go to court because he had gotten arrested for trespassing on private property. Great first impression. The case was dropped but still, I had no clue.

highschool days

  What is your favorite kind of date night?
i love going to dinner and then a movie. I know its not really fancy or anything, but both me and hubby love movie theater popcorn movies. We also very much enjoy going to local art festivals. We never really end up buying anything but there are two that we like in particular Las Olas Art Festival and Coconut Grove Arts Festival. Oh and concerts too!! We've been to soooo many country music concerts since weve been together and we both really enjoy them ;)

sugarland concert September 2009

 How do you do date night on a budget?
Umm hello, have you read my recent obsession with deal sites? I swear anytime there is a groupon for movie tickets I end up buying the max allowed for that deal. I think currently we have like 4 tickets to use :D now to find a babysitter......

 
What is the best kind of date your husband could surprise you with?!
I would love if he planned a family picnic around sunset on the beach. I know he absolutely despises sand, which means we hardly ever go to the beach together. But if he set it all up because he knew I loved the beach and had everything ready to go with a bottle of wine food and the baby, i think we all could enjoy it. Especially since its started to finally get a lil cooler outside (you know high 70's low 80's lol)

this would be fine...

                                  Source: Uploaded by user via Lisa on Pinterest

Dont forget to go link up with Allie & Kay

wedded bliss wednesday

 

Love this idea Allie and Kay came up with:

Each week link up and show off your amazing husband or man!! We can exchange tips and tricks and just have fun talking about our loves! Let's grow all of our marriages by learning from each other!  You can vlog your questions, write your questions, interview your husbands, let your husband guest post - get creative!!
The deets: Chances are, your readers know all about you! But what about your husband? Lets give our men the spotlight this week and introduce the blog world to your other half!

Introduce us to your husband! (What's his name? How old? What does he look like?) 

So my hubby (and highschool sweet heart) is Matt. He is 28yrs old and is pretty handsome if I do say so myself! ;)

2010 from our wedding

What is your husband's favorite thing to do?

My husband absolutely loves to fish! Unfortunately we cant afford a boat right now so he has to wait until someone invites him out on theirs. Hopefully one day we will have our own. Matt has been looking forward to teaching Matthew to fish one day and it would be awesome if it was out on our own boat.

2003 -lmao he'd kill me if he saw this up here

What does your husband do Monday-Friday? 

He works as a recruiter for a large corporation who is an outsourced customer service call center. Funny though, he used to work in construction and when he switched fields its like he became a completely different person. He now loves his job and comes home happy even after a long day at work. Its not necessarily the best paying job, but he is gaining some great experience with a great company.

What was the FIRST thing you noticed about your husband when you met? 

Definetly his eyes. They are the most beautiful blue color, and luckily Matthew got his eyes (at least so far, they havent changed and hes already almost 4 months (omg just realized tomorrow is 4 months) so were thinking they might stay this way) 

What is your husband's BEST quality?

Definitely his humor and outgoing personality. He can make me laugh even on my bad days. And hes so incredibly outgoing, I swear no matter where we go there is always someone who knows him and insists on coming over to say hi.

What is your husband's biggest pet peeve?

I would have to say he absolutely despises when I interrupt him. And although I hate to admit it, I do it alot more often than I should. And its not necessarily because I try to interrupt him, but more because Ill forget the point I need to make if I let him continue. lmao 

How does your husband feel about blogging? 

He doesnt really mind that I do it, but its a whole 'nother story if I ask him to partake. Hes not really into the whole expressing his feelings and emotions publicly. And after I convinced him to do TLC's: A Conception Story with me last year when we were trying to get pregnant, I doubt hes ever going to willingly blog/vlog now. (unless I promise him things that should not be talked about here lol)

What is something you do/can do that makes your husband feel loved? 

I know for a fact that he loves spending quality time with me. And I know that sounds so cliche and corny, but its extremely true. You see with a new baby, my obsession with reading, my need to blog, and the numerous house projects we have, we very rarely get to spend good quality one-on-one time. If you follow me on pinterest you might have noticed Im starting to pin alot more "date night" ideas. And please, any suggestions you may have, I would love to hear them!

2011 - Camping in Conneticut

So thats its, you'v met my hubby. Now go introduce us to yours!

show & tell: all my favorites

I love linking up with other blogs, and I especially love this week's Show & Tell: All my favorites! So read along and get to know me better, and then go linkup yourself so we can get to know you!

1. Tell us about your 5 favorite memories in your life.

December 2008 Cruise on Navigator of the Seas
For my college graduation/birthday present to myself, hubby and I took a 5 day cruise to Cozumel & Belize. I also thought that this was going to be the perfect timing for Matt to propose to me. HOwever, 2 days before we left at my graduation party, he came to me and said "I know you think that I might propose, and I really dont want to disappoint you, but I just cant afford a ring right now, please dont be mad, I love you, and as soon as we have enough money I will get one for you." Although I was sad, i understood, and told him not to worry about it. Needless to say, 3 days later right before we were about to go to dinner on the cruise ship, Matt proposed right in front of one of the professional photography stands on the ship. I was so surprised I didnt even look at the ring until we had walked away since everyone was starring at us. 

Our Wedding
To this day, everyone who attended our wedding, said it was the best wedding they had ever been to. And not only did I get to marry the love of my life, but I got to share it with so many wonderful people. Oh and yes, there was an open bar, and we may have made the light fixtures fall out of the ceiling due to our DJ turning the music up just a lil too loud. (hey we're a rowdy crowd, what can I say?)

Our Honeymoon Cruise
This time we went on Oasis of the Seas, the largest (at the time, i think Allure is now) cruise ship in the world. We went to Nassua, St. Thomas, & St Marteen. At the time one of my best friends (2nd girl in on the left in above pic) was living in St Thomas, so she got us the hook up and lets just say 2 things 1- i convinced my husband who is afraid of height to go parasailing with me and 2-we may not remember much because let me tell you, those island people, they know how to party!

Finding Out we were pregnant
You can read all about the details here
Matthews Birth Day 
It may have been one of the most painful days of my life, but it was so completely worth it. This little boy has changed our lives forever and I cant even imagine living without him! Planning on writing his birth story in the next couple of weeks. You can plan on reading in it one of my Throwback Thursday link ups.

2. Show us 3 of your favorite beauty products.
I figured I had waaaay to many favorites to choose from, so I had to narrow it down to my favorite necessities. And yes, you may notice I use alot of Avon, thats because my sister sells it (you can buy stuff from her here), and now Im completely obsessed with all the stuff they make!

via Avon

via Avon

via CoverGirl

3. Tell us what your favorite TV shows are to watch.
Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Newsroom, Weeds, & of course TrueBlood

Need I say more?

 4. Show us 2 of your favorite pictures.

5. Tell us your favorite things to do during "me time."
Read books (currently The Hunger Games book 3), shop, craft, blog, design, and shop (yes I know I said that twice, I have a problem, Im trying to take of it lol) 

Dont forget to link up and find some new bloggy friends