so what wednesday

i normally save wednesdays solely for Wednesday weigh-in, but since I usually dont get around to posting it till Thursday late, i figured Id join in on Shannon's So What! Wednesday link up.

This week I'm saying SO WHAT! if...

• the laundry in the dryer has been sitting in there fore 2 days
• ive yelled at hubs for spending money on things we dont need, and yet Ive placed two orders over $75 at oldnavy.com within the past week an a half
• im waaaaaaaaaaaay over due on matthews monthly updates, i think the last one i did was 3 months, yeah hes going to me 10 months in a few days
• i complain about not having time to relax on the weekends, yet i continuously overschedule things to do on sat & sun, like this week we have a lil boys 1st birthday party to go to on sat, i still need to buy the present, were going to easter sunday service, doing an easter egg hunt & dinner at my parents, oh and somewhere in there i need to clean the house and i want to take matthew to see the easter bunny
• the thing im looking forward to most about the tortuga fest in a couple of weeks, is that i get to sleep in on both sat & sun since matthew will be with my sis and we got a hotel on the beach
• im late to work everyday by approx 15mins. i work from home, and technically im supposed to be to work by 9am, but after i drop off matthew at my sisters i usually drop off my nephew at school too. does it help if I norm dont take a lunch break?

what are you saying So What! to this week?

wednesday weigh-in: week 10

This really should be called Thursday weigh-in, seeing as my meeting is technically wednesday night and I never really get the chance to post either on the correct day, or with all my updates. But Thursday weigh-in just doesnt have the same ring to it ;)

So this week, I was semi bad again. It didnt necessarily work against me, but I know I need to get back into the rhythm of things. You see, I didnt track, at all, again. However, I think since I didnt track, I was more conscious about what I actually put in my mouth. Does that make sense? lol. Kinda like I knew I was doing bad, so if I ate alot on one day, then I didnt eat as much the next day. Like I was balancing it out. I actually think this is the process of making it a habit. Being conscious of everything you put in your mouth and knowing when and when not to overindulge in something. Which in the end, it worked out in my favor, I shed another 2lbs this week! Yippie for me!!

I was really looking forward to staying for the meeting last night, but unfortunately I didnt get to due to hubby making dinner plans with his mom and sister. Some people can follow the plan by just doing everything online or via their cell, but to me, the program works so much better when you participate in the weekly meetings. That and I feel more accountable, specifically standing on that scale. Sad to say, but if I were to just weigh myself on my own scale (which ive come to the conclusion its literally 4.5lbs off) then if Ive gained its kinda like "Oh no big deal, its only a pound or two," but if I weigh in at the meeting, its someone else telling me, with a disappointed look on their face "well this week you gained, is there something you can contribute this gain too?" Umm yeah, the 3 Reeses peanut butter eggs I ate for breakfast?!?!? those things are addicting by the way.

But anywho, I did good this week, and I plan on getting on track, literally, by tracking everything I put in my mouth. Yes I know I said that last week, but im going to keep telling myself that and maybe it will eventually stick. That and exercise. I was able to get the Zumba Wii game when it was a groupon recently and I just got it in the mail the other day. Im kinda excited to try it out. And whats even better, weigh watchers just added it as an exercise in eTools so I dont have to guess my activity points values.

Also, I know 15.6lbs isnt alot when youre trying to loose a total 50lbs, but let me tell you, when i logged into track my weight and looked at my little progress chart, just to see the little line going down AND never going up, it just put me in a much better mood and gave me a great little confidence boost for the day!

lbs shed this week:   -2

lbs shed in total: -15.6

lbs still need to shed: 34.4

first goal: 10lbs - reached on 2/13/13

•     reward:  mani/pedi and possibly massage (still havent done this yet)

second goal: 25lbs (little less than 10lbs to go! really looking forward to this one!)

•     reward: new rollerblades

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: another 2lbs down!

set-backs: Not tracking, no exercise, easter candy

exercise: none :( but hoping to start the Zumba Wii

p.s. dont forget today is the last day to enter my giveaway! (not alot of entries so theres a good chance you could be the winner!!)

mommy meltdowns

                                                       Source: etsy.com via Lisa Bartek on Pinterest

as a mom, a wife, a woman....hell, as a person, we all experience an occasional meltdown. And today just happen to be that day for me.....

it all started off at 3am this morning. as Ive mentioned a couple times in my most recent posts, Matthews been sick. ALOT. Its hard as a mom to see you baby get sick. Especially how often as matthew has been getting sick. it puts that little question in the back of my mind, "Is it something Im doing? Something im exposing him too? Feeding him? Not feeding him?" The list goes on and on. I try to tell myself that all babies get sick. But its hard to convince myself thats truly the case. Especially when you have friends whos babies have never been sick, let alone this often, and are only a month or two younger than matthew.

I think ive been to the pediatricians office more in the past 3 weeks than Ive been to my own doctor in the past year. Partially due to an overprotective new father, who constantly thinks we should take the baby to the doctor. I think I bring him in more often just to ease hubs mind than to actually get answers. Sometimes its justifiable, like the recent virus/rash situation, but other times Ive been given the side-eye from the nurses too, "He's teething, hes a baby, hes ok, dont worry." All things I know. But, still, i manage to take the time off from work, spend the extra $30 copay to "see" the dr for 5 mins, and then go on our merry way with the advice to give him some motrin or tylenol if you see hes really uncomfortable.

Then i go back to the over-thinking side of me. I feel like were constantly giving him medicine. I dont like the idea of pumping medicine into his little body. We already give him zantac every morning and afternoon so he can keep his food down. But now, also the cold medicine (Azithromycin i think?), mortin/tylenol for teething, and breathing treatments when necessary. Again, this just sounds like a lot to me. Couldnt I be doing something better for him? Keeping him healthier so he doesnt get sick as often?

But back to my mommy meltdown. So this morning, 3am remember? Matthew wakes up. Basically right at the 7 hour mark of when I last gave him Motrin. I try to calm him down. Try to get him to go back to sleep. Change his diaper. Rock him. Basically anything to not give him more medicine. I even resort to bringing him back into our bed to fall asleep. Which I accomplish in a matter of 10mins, only for Matthew to be woken up by our barking dog.

Then theres more crying. And hubs is finally awake (yes, somehow hes been sleeping through this whole thing), and starts yelling. Im not quite sure if its at me or matthew. But somewhere in the mist of all the yelling i catch a "stop babying him!" EXCUSE.ME?!?!?!? Hes 9 months old. Ironic I know, but HE.IS.STILL.A.BABY!!! Now im mad, exhausted, irritated, and on the verge of tears (i seriously cry at everything these days) but if he thinks that Im babying him and that his solution will work better, Im all for trying it.

So I put Matthew back in his crib, give him his pacifier, blankie, and turn on the noise machine. I hop back in bed myself and feel absolutely terrible as all I can hear is his little cries over the monitor. (please know, I would never let me son cry more than absolutely necessary, and it took every ounce of willpower not to just go right in there and pick him up) But I wanted hubs to realize that his "not babying" solution, just wasnt going to cut it. Finally after about 7 mins (yes a whole 7 mins it took him) hubs got up himself and tried to calm him down. 

Now, a lil background on hubs, he gets frustrated really easily when he doesnt have a "quick solution" to something. So when Matthew starts crying he thinks we should be able to do something immediately to soothe him. Yes, in a perfect world this would be awesome, but guess what? HE'S.A.BABY! it doesnt really work like that. Needless to say hubs gets frustrated alot when it comes to matthew and not being able to calm him down. Especially when it interrupts his own sleep. (HA! welcome to a mothers world!)

Basically, the night morning ended with me back in the nursery, rocking matthew to sleep, waiting for the 2nd dose of motrin to kick in. Finally around 4:30am I was able to peacefully lay him back down and sneek back into our room. Hubs was now watching TV due to not being able to get back to bed. I knew immediately, that the rest of this day was just going to go down hill.

And sure enough, i was right. No need to go into detail, as I think you got enough of that above, but basically from the lack of sleep, exhaustion, frustration, and stress everything has gone into a butterfly effect. Its hard, especially for me--a person who likes to please everyone--to be able to control my emotions on a trying day like this. Things are said (by both parties) in the heat of the moment that arent necessarily truthful, but more to go for the juggler.  And its hard to forgive, even after apologies are said, because words still hurt.

After almost 12 years together, you would think we would know how to communicate with each other. Know how to hold back those hurtful words. Know how to calm each other down before either gets too heated. Instead, we go for the low blow? Instead, we spend another day angry? Instead, i feel absolutely helpless? To the point I suggested we see a counselor. Someone to help us communicate without ripping each other heads off, cuz at this point thats what Im ready to do. I may be balling my eyes out while I do it, but  it may just happen.

please tell me im not the only one with these mommy/wife meltdowns. please tell me, this too shall pass.......

on being the breadwinner

this is one of those post that Ive debated on writing. Is it too personal? Will I come off sounding ungrateful? If my in-real life friends read it would they take it the wrong way? But then when I saw Becky's link up go live on Monday, I started thinking about what I would write.

You see last year I didnt participate because I honestly couldnt think of anything that I could share that would help empower, motivate, or just relate to other women. I post about the normal everyday mom/wife/woman stuff on a regular basis. But what made me different, or better yet, what made me relate-able.

And then I read a few of the link ups. And it really hit me. All these women, they are sharing the topics that empower them. Topics that they are frightened about. Topics that they wouldnt normally put on display for the whole world to see. And even if I didnt relate on the exact same situation, I at least immediately felt empowered by how they embraced each of their own obstacles. So back to the drawing board I went. I racked my brain for topics that I would normally be too intimated to share. And then it hit me. A topic that I normally dont discuss with others, let alone go full in depth about on paper. But this is who I am

i am

a

friend

wife

mother

blogger

designer

and

THE breadwinner

of our family

Ill start by saying I grew up in a "traditional" home. I say that vaguely because I am honestly not here to put down anyone who didnt, nor who isnt, brought up this way. But for me, it was understood that my dad worked and my mother stayed home. Mom would dress us, feed us, clean us, discipline us, and just overall take care of us on a daily basis. Dad, on the other hand, would leave the house by 5:30am to drive an hour to work, spend all day earning his salary, and then would sometimes make it home for dinner with us around 6:30pm. Was I close to my father? Of course! I was Daddy's lil girl, and still am. But my father not only worked his ass off every day (excuse the french), but he instilled  hard-working morals unto me. 

daddy's little girl

I always just assumed that when I one day had a family, the dynamics would be the same. Except, I knew that I wanted to have a career myself. This, as you can see, caused some contradictions in what I wanted. My sister, she knew what she wanted. She was going to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes, she went to school for nursing, and even got a job at the local hospital upon graduation. But we all knew that the job was merely a placeholder until she got married and had kids (of which happened merely a year after said job). I, on the other hand, studied, hardly ever went out, worked a full time job, plus an internship, all while getting my bachelors in Graphic Design, and started my career, just 3 months after graduation.

graduation 2008 with my parents

I felt successful. I was proud of myself. More than that, my FATHER was proud of me. I had saved money from my high-school job to be able to move out on my own (well with hubs) the summer before college. I rarely asked my parents to borrow money. I was self-sufficient to say the least. And I prided myself on that. I was responsible. I was established. I was, in-fact, a career woman.

Our First Apartment - 2004

Now, let me get back on track a minute and make it clear that I would never marry for money. Nor marry someone solely based on success. They are all admirable details, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And for my heart, it wanted Matt. He's smart, handsome, funny, a great father and husband, but since day one, he has always lacked motivation. He's the type that would rather enjoy every minute of life opposed to worry about all the tiny details. Lets just say, hes completely opposite of me when it comes to that. He dropped out of high school when he was a sophmore and got his highschool diploma before his expected graduation date. But instead of going off to college (which he now regrets), he decided to work for for his uncle laying tile. Now, it sounds bad when I write it like that, but let me make it clear that he wasnt just some "tile-setter." His father (before passing away) had established a very well known business with high-class clients. The jobs they worked on werent just your everyday kitchen tile jobs. They worked in mansions, installing marble ceilings, among the numerous remodeling projects that these millionaires had. And he was making very good money doing it.

However, he was also coming home unhappy everyday because he hated his job. And then with the economy being in the position it is, people stopped spending money on remodeling. And work got real slow. So slow, that hubs decided to try and find work in another field, hell a completely different industry. Which meant he had to start from the bottom. Something we both had talked about and agreed that it would be best for not only him, but for us. Only problem was, starting at the bottom meant a major cut in pay.

We decided it was worth it. We I had saved enough and was making decent money myself, so we could survive until he worked his way up the ladder. I had always felt like I was the breadwinner anyways since hes horrible at saving money. But now, it would be official. Our family would be depending on me to live. 

Pregnant with Matthew 2012

Then we got married, bought a house, had a baby, and here we are now. Im still the bread-winner. Now I have another person depending on me. I wont lie, it scares the hell out of me sometimes. I mean honestly, anything could happen. Hell, since we decided to make this decision my career has gone from being bought out, changed departments, bought out again, and it truly is hard to believe that my job isnt indispensable.

I love my job. I love what I do on a daily basis. But I would be lying  if I said I never thought about being a stay at home mom. It was hard enough going back to work after my maternity leave. And again, Ive always wanted a career. But I just never thought I would be put in a situation where I didnt have the option of staying home. 

I love that my husband comes home from work happy now. I love that he loves what he does. Im grateful that we both have jobs that can contribute to a great life for our son. And I am so glad that I have my sister to watch Matthew while we are both at work. But i do envy those that have the option of being a working-mom or stay-at-home-mom. I dont know, even if I had the option, if I would ever take it. But I would still like to be given the option.

Christmas 2012

Being the bread-winner of a family is alot of stress and takes a very strong and hard-working person. All of which I endure on a daily basis. When bills come around, its me who figures out when and how to pay them. When something happens to one of our cars, its me who decides if we have enough money to fix them. When its dinner time, its me who decides if were staying home or going out, and trust me, i DONT cook, so I would much rather go out. I hate that I get labeled as cheap sometimes by friends and family, but i honestly dont believe Im being cheap. In actuality its me being mindful of our finances and budget.

I know one day the choices we've made will pay off and the stress of being the bread-winner wont over come me. Maybe one day I will have the option of staying home with the kid(s), and I just might take that opportunity. But until then, if I seemed a little stressed out, you may now understand a little bit more whats going on in my little head.

wednesday weigh-in: week 5

I did it! I actually exercised this week. It may only have been once, but you know what? You gotta start somewhere. Remember the elliptical I got last year? Well it had found a new home in Matthews closet. You know, so it would be easier to bring out and use, opposed to siting in the laundry room. Well yeah I dusted it off and brought it out to help me with last weeks goal of moving more. I was only on it for 18mins while I caught up on one of my shows. Lets just say 18mins was hard enough for me. Thank god my machine has a bike seat because I dont know how I would have been able to do even those 18mins standing the entire time. Can you say out of shape? yeah......

i think the 5.04 means miles, but i feel like thats way to high of a number for being done in 18.25mins

Unfortunately, I honestly didnt have any other time this past week to blog clean sleep exercise with how busy work is. I know its not an excuse. And I need to make sure I "make an appointment" to exercise. I think if I write it down or put it in my work calendar then it will feel more like a necessity than if I just say Im going to do it. And it seems like my only "free time" to do it, is going to be during my lunch hour. Which is completely ok with me, i just need to make sure I stick to it.

At tonights meeting my leader made it a point to remind us that making something a routine helps it become easier, almost automatic. She said that technically speaking we should each be aiming for at least 14 activity points a week. I was flabbergasted. 14? I would be happy to get 1! And then she explained that if you are normally sedentary (thats me lol) then you should try just exercising once a week for 30 days. And after 30 days it will become a routine. Then you can add more days as you go. This way you wont feel overwhelmed and if you are able to do it more than the once a week during those first 30 days then great! So Im going to commit to that and hope for the best!

Oh and I forgot to mention one lil thing about this week.... I got to my first goal!!! Im not going to say its from the exercise, because honestly I doubt it is. But I am going to say its from my hard work. My self discipline. And my recent obsession in finding new easy low point value recipes. Ive been having so much fun making meals lately. We even had my mom and day over for dinner for the first time at our house on sunday and I made the entire meal myself. Baked Chicken, fresh roasted veggies, and sweet potatoes! It was absolutely delicious! (Oh and if you caught the whole first time eating dinner at our house thats a long story, lets just say their house is just so much easier, and bigger, and heck normally the food is already made, but after 2.5 years living in our house, i figured it was about time)

lbs shed this week: -2.4

lbs shed in total: -10.8

lbs still need to shed: 39.2

first goal: 10lbs - YAY!!! go me!!

•     reward: changed my mind, the hair salon is going to be kinda expensive, so Im thinking a mani/pedi this weekend and possibly using my massage certificate from my baby shower (before it expires lol)

second goal: 25lbs

•     reward: new outfit? hair salon?

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: meeting my first goal of shedding 10lbs!

set-backs: i think I can say there were no setbacks this week :)

exercise: brought out the elliptical and plan on doing it again this week, wish me luck!

wednesday weigh-in: week 4

This week Ive come to realize that even if I do get rid of the amount of pounds I want to, my body itself is not going to go back to the way it was before I was pregnant. Not that I had a great body before, but its just different now. I had stretch marks before, but not in the places I have them now, particularly my stomach. And even with dropping close to 35lbs off the bat thanks to breastfeeding, I now have extra skin in areas I dont want either.

I really dont mean to start this post off in a negative manner. Because honestly thats not what Im trying to do. Im proud of my body and what it endured in order to old a precious life for 9-10 months. I wouldnt take that back for the world. But with this realization, that Ive changed, in more ways than one, Ive also realized that Im going to have to work even harder to get back in shape.

Which means, I hate to say it, because I honestly dont want to, but I need to start exercising. The eating healthy part has always come relatively easy for me with diets. Its the working out part that I tend to slack on. And being a mom (i know thats not an excuse but bare with me) i feel like i never have time to do it. Again i know thats not an excuse, but when i have extra time i like to relax. I feel like im always tired. Ironic i know because its know that exercise actually helps increase your energy levels.

So basically Ive come to the conclusion i NEED to MOVE! Funny how tonights meeting was all about creating our own moving plan. I was so glad I stayed for the meeting even though my sis and bro-in-law werent able to. Besides talking about getting started moving, i got to listen to alot of the lifetime members talk about what has and hasnt worked for them. I needed to hear this because although i didnt gain this week I also didnt get rid of a significant amount either.

My mini goal for this coming week is to exercise at least once. I know that may not sound like at lot to some of you but for me it at least gives me a starting point.

Any advice from those who lack the motivation to exercise but have found something that works for them, PLEASE share!

lbs shed this week: -.4

lbs shed in total: -8.4

lbs still need to shed: 41.6

first goal: 10lbs

•     reward: maybe a trip to the hair salon?

second goal: 25lbs

•     reward: new outfit?

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: exploring different healthier recipes

set-backs: ate way to many frozen meals this week. Wish I wouldve cooked more, but i just felt like i didnt have the time this week. And not exercising. :(

exercise: none, but i am going to this week, so you better hold me accountable

wednesday weigh-in: week 3

So not sure if everyone saw that I updated last weeks weigh-in on Saturday, but I ended up gaining slightly. It was only a small amount so Im not going to kill myself over it, but it still does get me down a little. I told myself a few thing after I got on that scale 1) at least you didnt gain more and 2) that just means I have to work harder this coming week. Which I wish I could say I did, but I have a feeling I didnt. It isnt anything in particular, but to start with it was a shorter week between weigh-ins (Sat - tonight).

One thing I am so very proud of myself for this week is that I started to explore more with healthier recipes, both cooking and baking. And yes there is a major difference, I can bake basically anything, cooking on the other hand I tend to completely and udderly destroy not do so well with. But thanks to one of my lovely readers (thanks samantha!) i found a couple of awesome sources for healthy recipes. This week alone I made Chicken Parmesan Meatloaf Muffins (perfect for portion control), an Apple Cinnamon Tart, and a Slow Cooker Apple Bacon BBQ Chicken. (notice I have a thing for apples? lol) I made sure to have the hubs try each one, and even made some for my sis and bro-in-law to try as well to get there opinions. Mostly good reviews, a few minor tweaks needed for others.

I also realized that although I have blatantly stated that Im following the Weight Watchers program, I havent really talked in depth about how it works. Not that Im a professional when it comes to it, but I figured for those of you wondering exactly how it works I could maybe give you a  little insight.

1. First you get a personalized daily PointPlus Target.
• Its based on you height, weight, age and gender
• You must eat your daily target points, but if you go over you have a weekly points allowance you can borrow from (but no rollovers lol)
2. Every food has a PointsPlus value
• Its calculated based on the foods content of protein, fiber, fat, and carbs
• They even have a calculator and barcode scanner in the app that makes it super easy for you
3. Fresh Fruit and most veggies are 0 PointsPlus value
• So STOCK up!!!
• And try to eat at least 1 fruit or veggie with each meal or snack (this has helped me ALOT!)
4. You can even earn MORE points each day for activity
• These points swap one-for-one with food points, but you can also choose not to swap them, its up to you
• You can figure out how many activity points youve earned a few ways
1. The pocket guide you receive during your first meeting gives a a great chart that calculates using your weight, duration of activity, and level of exertion
2. If you have eTools there is a whole database of activities that you can just plug in
3. Or if you are an ActiveLink subscriber you can wear the little device and it monitors your daily activity and automatically syncs with your eTools

I also found this great comparison chart on the difference between Weight Watchers and all the other quick fad diets and thought it was a great reference. I know Ive personally been one to fall for quick fix diets and they never work for me in the long run. As Ive mentioned before, weight watchers is a lifestyle change!

 I hope this helped answer any of your questions. If you want to know more about any particular topic just comment below and Ill try to answer the best I can.

On to this weeks summary

lbs shed this week: -2.8

lbs shed in total: -7.6 

lbs still need to shed: 42.4 

first goal: 10lbs

•     reward: maybe a trip to the hair salon?

second goal: 25lbs

•     reward: new outfit?

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: exploring different healthier recipes

set-backs: i admit, i stepped on my home scale multiple times this week. I know i shouldnt, but i guess since im doubting my progress this week i wanted to see if i was doing better, but it only made me feel guilty for every little thing i put in my mouth.

exercise: none this week, but I think its about time to start incorporating it into my routine. im thinking walking, rollerblading, or maybe even bike riding (i saw a cute little seat that matthew can sit in while i ride!)

wednesday weigh-in: week 2

I wish I could say I feel as confident this week as I did last week. Technically speaking i dont know how my progress has gone this week. Im in New York right now for work, and I was going to try and venture to one of the WW meetings up here, but umm have you turned on the tv? its like way to effing cold here.

so this south floridian will not be venturing out into the freezing temperatures to try and find that meeting. Instead, ill wait until I get back home and probably go to the Saturday morning weigh-in. But I still wanted to give a quick update on how I feel I did this week.

We again had another birthday to celebrate over this past 3day weekend. Hubs best friends bday was on Monday and we took him out to dinner at champps americana. I did look up all the entrees before we left the house to try and pick the healthiest lowest in points option. However, that didnt last very long when everyone decided to order the sampler appetizer. And I even told myself that the bread that came with my salad I was NOT going to eat. But I was weak. And I admit, I ate all 4 pieces. But as usual I made sure to track every single bite.

And I told myself that New York was not going to jeopardize my good streak. But again, life happens, and when your boss invites you and your coworkers out for lunch at an italian restaurant, you just cant say no ;) So I had my pizza. And now Im feeling guilty. And Im sure to tomorrow is going to be just as difficult since we will be meeting at a nearby hotel for our kickoff meeting where breakfast and lunch will be served. Wish me luck.

lbs shed this week: +.6

lbs shed in total: -4.8

lbs still need to shed: 45.2

first goal: 10lbs

• reward: maybe a trip to the hair salon?

second goal: 25lbs

•     reward: new outfit?

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: not letting the little setbacks ruin my end goal. there are going to be days I dont do as well as I had hoped, but im not going to let that lead into a downward spiral. im going to start new the very next day, back on plan. oh and make sure to track every bite even if I do have setbacks.

set-backs: another birthday celebration, new york......

exercise: does walking new york city blocks in the freezing cold weather count for anything?

wednesday weigh-in: week 1

So first of all, let me just say that it was absolutely wonderful walking back into my meeting last Wednesday night. It felt like I was supposed to be there. And it was an extra plus that even though I had been gone 2+ years, everyone remembered me (at least the people who work there). Im actually friends with my meeting leader and the ladies who do the "weigh-in" part on facebook, so they get to stay somewhat in touch/up-to-date with my life. So the "Oh my gosh! Good to see you!" and the "Your lil one is sooooo adorable!" and "Where's your mom?" (she did it with us last time, but we havent quite convinced her to sign up again this time) were all such welcoming words to hear!

Regarding the actual program itself, it hasnt changed much. Still the basic principles. The points are now called PointsPlus. To me, there were only 2 major differences. 1) we now count carbs (before they werent part of the equation to calculate points) and 2) Fruits are now 0 points. Which means that a few of my favorite low points staples are now about 1-2 points higher than before. However, the amount of points you get in a day are also higher. That one actually shocked me. I was used to having like 26-27 points, and when they calculated my points this time I was allowed 36 points. Now I know I technically way more this time, so that accounts for some extra points, but man, i just feel like 36 is a whole lot!

OK, sorry, back to the actual progress report. I knew there would be somewhat of a challenge for me starting the program, last week in particular. For one, we would be celebrating hubs, my moms, and my bro-in-laws bday on Sunday and we were going out with our friends Sat night for hubs bday dinner. Needless to say, I was faced with many choices.

And, to tell you the truth, I think thats all this really is, its all about making choices, the right choices, the healthy choices. Now Ill be honest here, since the program allows us 49 weekly allowance points, I didnt completely make the best choices at dinner Sat night. Like I totally had 3 pieces of the garlic cheesy bread :( but, i did track it. All of it. Even the pizza.

However, I did hit up the local fresh market on Saturday morning and scored a bunch of fruits & veggies. Which means, dinners and snacks have consisted of lots of healthy food. Even hubs said dinner the other night, which consisted of a baked pork chop, broccoli, and a large loaded with veggies salad, was "Good." And for those that know me, I dont cook, so a "Good" is very good in my book! Plus, after the fresh market I stopped by a friends house who was having a garage sale and picked up a basically brand new Weight Watchers Cookbook (points plus and all) for $1. My first recipe I made out of it? French Apple Tart. It was yummy! I can share the recipe for ya if anyones interested.

Oh and just something I wanted to mention here (Again maybe just to hold my self accountable). Ths time around, Im going to do things differently. I remember last time I did this I would basically not eat on weigh-in days. I would make sure to wear the lightest dress possible (you know so I dont have those extra lbs from my clothes? lol). And I would stress over getting on the scale. This time Im NOT doing that. Ive been eating healthy all day. Like a normal person. Im not changing my outfit before I leave. And Im not going to hop on the scale all week long. Im going to try and only do it on weigh-in days.  But, I will probably pee before I get on the scale because you know thats gonna help me drop 5lbs right? ;)

lbs shed this week: -5.4

lbs shed in total: -5.4

lbs still need to shed: 44.6

first goal: 10lbs

• reward: maybe a trip to the hair salon?
  (my niece informed me that my hair is light brown, "except at the top where its closer to black")

second goal: 25lbs

•     reward: new outfit?

final goal:  50lbs

•     reward: epiphanie camera bag

success: made sure to track every little thing! It helps make you accountable for it later. And always remember:

set-backs: birthday celebrations = italian food aka - cheesey garlic bread, pizza, & cannolis

exercise: zilch, eventually Ill get there, i just want to focus on getting back on the plan first.

So hows your journey to a healthier you going? Any progress? Set-backs? Tasty recipes? Please share!

wednesday weigh-in

Its official. Im starting weight watchers again. Like I said on Friday, there are no more excuses. Matthew is now 7 months old and I should be back to my old weight by now. Or better yet, i should be back to my ideal weight. Ive done the weight watchers plan a few times before and I know it definitely works. And it is really all about fitting it into your own life.

I say this because, yes, Ive done the program multiple times, with multiple successful endings. But they were at different times in my life. The first time I did it I was still in college. I dont didnt cook, i ate alot of fast food, and had no time (between full time school, internship, and full time waitress) to exercise at all. So I was successful by literally eating all the frozen, SmartOnes meals for every meal of the day. Can you say sodium overload? Which in my eyes at the time, I had no problem with. I shed close to 20lbs. And was happy with how it worked, but Ill admit, I think I quit from boredom with the meals. (not the programs fault, but more of my own)

The second time I was out of college, newly engaged, and had a particular deadline (my wedding) to shed the pounds for. I think it was the goal part that motivated me this time. I also got my mom, sister, and best friend involved too, since they saw how easily I was shed the weight last time. Plus, I started exploring more on how I could be creative with the little bit of cooking I knew how to do.  In the end, I think I weighed the second lowest I had my entire life! (the first being sophomore year in high school when I was on the softball team) With a total of over 35lbs shed by my wedding day. I had accomplished my goal. I fit into a gown I only dreamed I could ever fit into. Dare I even say "I looked HOT" for my honeymoon. The same honeymoon that had an open buffet practically 24/7. The same honeymoon I came back from 5lbs heavier and hit with the holiday season of delicious delights back to back.

Ill take 100% responsibility when i say "I got LAZY." I gave up. Going back to my old ways by default. Making myself believe I was giving my self a "break" and would easily jump back on the program whenever I felt like it. Then a few weeks went by. I was embarrassed to go back to my meetings. Even though I knew damn well my leader and other members would welcome me back with open arms and encourage me to not let the past hinder me from making healthier choices now. Then a few months went by. I was back to my heavy point. And then I received the most wonderful news I could ever imagine. I was pregnant! There was a little baby growing inside of me. Out the window went any thought of a diet. I did tell myself I wouldnt become one of those "eating for two" pregnant ladies, and I didnt. But I still gained close to 30lbs by the end of my pregnancy.

I always new I would go back to Weight Watchers when I was ready. And that time has finally come. Tonight is my first meeting. 6:30pm. With my old leader. And bonus? My sis and brother-in-law are doing it with me too!

Im not going to share my actual weight here (bc what woman wants to do that? lol) but I will be sharing my progress, be it with pics or pounds ive shed. Ill share my ups, downs, and in-betweens. And hopefully by doing this I can hold myself somewhat accountable. Lets start with a before picture:

Oh and just so that I make this extremely clear, this is not a resolution. As Ive said before, I hate that word. To me, this is more a lifestyle change. A goal for me to be healthier, not only for myself, but for my son. And a goal for me to look & feel better, not only for myself, but for my husband. And for the rest of you out their who are trying to do the same, even if it is one of your resolutions, I ask for you to join with me and share your progress, challenges, and healthy tips! Good Luck to ALL of us!

show & tell: my christmas wish list

I honestly thought that I wouldnt have many things on my wish list when I started putting together this post. Boy was I surprised when low-and-behold, I came up with 11 decent items I am wishing for this Christmas.

1. epiphanie stella camera bag // 2.  kitchen aid stand mixer cover // 3. kitchen aid flex edge beate

4. belkin kitchen stand and wand for tablets // 5. bra case for traveling 

6. infinity ring with wedding date engraved // 7. kitchen aid glass bowl // 8.  hd camcorder

9. 50mm nikon lens // 10. riding boots // 11. willow tree - child of my heart

They arent numbered in any sort of order, so dont use that as a relavance of which I want more. These are all actually just wishes. I think I might get 3 maybe 4 of these in actuality.

The thing I want the most off this list is actually the 50mm lens for my Nikon.

And although I really have been wanting the riding boots as well, I cant seem to find ones that fit urgh!! i have wide calves that i absolutely hate and none of the riding boots ive tried on fit well in that area :(

As for the rest, they really are just "nice-to-haves," but i think some of them are really cool. I mean come on, isnt that travel case for bras like genius? that would be perfect for cruises! ;)

And the willow tree figurine I just love. My mother in law started giving them to us a few years ago and we've gotten quite a lil collection going on. We even had this one for our wedding cake topper. I forgot to show a pic of it, but they also have a nativity seen, and I absolutely love it!!! but each piece is kinda expensive so I doubt Ill get it. Maybe 1 piece each christmas till I have the whole collection? *wink*wink*

Also, i dont really know how badly i want the camcorder. I keep going back and forth on it because i have an iphone that can record, a dslr that can record, and a olympus rugged digital camera that records as well. Do i really need a camcorder as well? I want to be able to catch matthews first steps for sure, but how badly do i need a separate device for that? I dunno. Would love to hear anyones suggestions and opinions on this subject.

Whats on your wish list this year? Anything you cant live without? Any good amateur photographers gifts you think i should ask for?

Dont forget to link up with Becky and get some great ideas for gift-giving and your wish list this year!

fridays letters + giveaway winner announced

dear hubby, have I told you lately that I love and appreciate you more than anything? last night when I woke you up in the middle of the night crying hysterically from the unbearable pain of an earache, you calmed me down, and rushed me to the ER. And even though I knew that the blood coming from my ear probably freaked you out even more than it did me, you played it cool, and reassured me Id be fine. On top of that, we both knew you wouldnt be getting much sleep and this morning wouldnt be fun. But you never once complained. I love you and thank you so much taking care of me (and matthew).

dear matthew, i love your chubby little legs youve started to form. That baby fat is absolutely adorable, and it means that youre getting plenty to eat and staying healthy!

dear ruptured eardrum, omg ive never felt pain like this before, i think id put you 1 notch below childbirth. i hope the 6 prescriptions the ER doc prescribed help fix everything, and get my hearing back to normal. ill tell you what, those percocets are at least helping ;) 

dear pinterest, you are genius in what you do! secret boards? great addition! now no one is going to be able to see the random home health remedies ive been too self conscious to pin all the presents I pin for christmas.  

dear instagram, you finally introduced web profiles, you are genius as well, not sure what took you so long, but Im glad you finally did it (go check mine out by requesting to follow me).  

dear mr president, im not too happy about the results of this election, and im scared out of my mind about whats going to happen in the next 4 years, but that being said, you are MY president, and im lucky enough to live in a country where I have the right and privilege to vote, obviously the rest of the country didnt agree with my opinions, but i will support you as much as I can with despise for the next 4 years, im hoping and praying ill see what everyone else whats to believe, come true. its your chance to prove your "change."  

dear blogger friends, i didnt forget about you, theres just been alot on my mind this past week. we all know why youre really reading todays letters, its to find out who won my awesome giveaway! Well i wont make you wait any longer

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Congratulations Mandy! I know how badly you wanted to win this for you and your lil fam of 4 to watch together! Email me you address and Ill make sure the company sends to you asap.

dear hubby, because you and matthew always get two, im so happy you finally got your iPhone 5, even if you do continuously bug me on how to work the thing. you'll get used to it, its fairly easy, welcome to the apple family finally!!

dear matthew, with the holidays being right around the corner, i cant control myself on how exciting this year is going to be with you! i know you wont remember much, but I have so many things I want to do with you to start our own family traditions (hhhmmm maybe a holiday bucket list?)

hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, ill be taking it easy by letting the meds work their magic.

dont forget to link up with ashley

show & tell: careers

So I didnt get a chance to post this yesterday since I was so excited about my very first giveaway. The odds are looking good for you guys right now, not too many entries, you should def go check it out!

This Weeks Questions: Careers/Your "Job"
1. Tell us what you studied in college. Is your job now related to what you studied?
I studied and graduated with a BFA in Graphic Design, and today, my 9-5 job is working remotely as  Graphic Designer for a large corporation in their Advertising department. So yes, I think I studied the right thing in college!

2. Tell us what your everyday job looks like.
Well lets see, after I drive Matthew over to my sisters (yes even though I work from home, I still have my sis watch Matthew during the week while I work), I login for the day. I check emails, make sure I know my schedule for the day and if I have any client calls, and then I get down to the real part of the job. I create & design ads for the web. You know, the ones that show up on the sidebars of webpages like yahoo. And I do this for some major companies, im not at privilege to say which, but lets just say I definitely have more fun designing the ones that are for fashion and brands I like ;) 

3. Do you have a picture of you at work? Show us.
Wow, so please excuse the crappy quality, the messy desk, and the crazy bad hair.  I literally just took this photo. (unfotunately this is usually how it all looks though) Anyone notice my "My Vote Counted" sticker? Did you all vote? You better!

 4. In 10 years, what do you see yourself doing? Same thing? More? Tell us.
Honestly, I would love to continue what I do, but be on a more flexible schedule. And really I already have a very flexible schedule. I would just love to be able to work only mornings, so I could spend more time with matthew and our other children, when we eventually have them ;)

5. Tell us what you have learned, and what {if any} recommendations you may have for those looking to go into the field you are in. 
For those looking to go into the graphic design field, my number one moto is: if you are a designer, you are an artist, the computer is your tool, not what makes the art. You have to know the basics of design, color theory, layout, typography, etc, before you can even begin to use the computer. Then once you have that, you can use the computer as your tool to make great designs. (my college professors would be so proud of me! lol)

And Wow, there is actually alot I have learned being out in the real world. For one, if you find something you love to do, you dont ever have to "work" another day in your life. I know it sounds corny, but I absolutely love designing, so to me when I go to work, it doesnt even really feel like "work."
I could go on and on about all the things Ive learned, but I would rather sum it up with a few motivational sayings that help me while I work:

 

                                                Source: lovecreativerooms.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

                                    Source: tabletonic.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

 

                                                Source: health-girl.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Dont forget to go link up with Becky.

And please remember Being able to vote is such an American privilege! I hope you go out there and make a difference with your vote!