the marry-wed game

Recently Ive become more aware of the dynamics of my marriage. Most likely due to lots of friends getting married within the next year. Now, i am no expect by any means, when it comes to the success of marriage, but i do feel like I have a little bit of an upper hand considering hubs and I have been together for going on 11 years (2.5 of those being married). I know we're young and still have alot to learn, but it feels nice to have my newly-engaged or newly-wed friends come to us for some advice. Granted the questions are more like "It gets better right?" and "All of this is worth it right?"

Now, lets start the off by saying I do love being married, but the hard honest truth is marriage isnt necessarily about how much you love someone. Instead, to me at least, its about how much you are willing to constantly work on having a relationship with another person for the rest of your life. Yes there are many good times, fun memories, romantic nights, and life events that just make you smile and your heart beat a lil faster. But there are a hell of a lot arguments, disagreements, and just plain old trying days too. Some like to phrase it as "picking your battles." Which indeed is true. Just like you as a person change as you grow older, so does your marriage. And quite honestly sometimes the physical day-to-day becomes so routine that you kind of feel like youre in a slump. You see this person everyday, talk to them numerous times a day, and usually if anything new happens the other person is standing right there with you as it happens. Conversation are based on house projects, kids, finances, etc. And so it becomes hard sometimes to just enjoy a conversation with each other because you feel like there is nothing new to talk about.

This brings me to the real point of this post, sorry i got so deep up there ;)

I have a board on pinterest that is completely dedicated to married life. I like to go back to it every now and then when i feel like we are in a "slump." And for those of you who have your head in the gutter, im not talking about physically :P but more about the relationship itself. I pin things like date nights, quotes, gift ideas, etc. Well i came across this pin last night that was a little game, kinda like the newlywed game. Only it was catered more towards people already married, and basically was comprised of 20 questions on how well you know your significant other. Normally hubs isnt real into doing these things because they end up taking a long time, but seeing as Matthew was already asleep and we were just hanging out back on our patio, we decided to give it a try. (Note: i clicked on the pin and it keeps taking me to an error page, so i took it upon myself to make a lil printable/graphic)

I thought it would be fun to share our answers. Hubs answers for me are in blue, mine for him are in pink. Anything in italics is the other persons comments to the answers.

1. fav comfort food
mac & cheese and pork loin <yep>
mexican food or chicken parm <so which one?> probably chicken parm <yep>
  

2. dream job
stay at home mom <i was so wondering if you would think that as a job, good answer>
probably a wildlife enforcement officer, although its hard because you just recently changed careers <yeah, i would probably go with having my own recruiting agency>

3. bed cover hogger
YOU!
hehe (lmao)

4. fav color
purple....blue <well i kinda have alot, purple, blue, teal, pink>
green? <actually blue, but i like green too> thats probably because i always take the blue stuff and give you green

5. toothbrush color

 light blue? <yep>
green! please refer back to question 4 ;)

6. last book read
well you havent read 50 shades of grey, was it one of those eclipse, vampire books? <eclipse? you mean the twilight series? > yeah the vampire book <lol, no it was the hunger games series >
i cant remember the last time you even read a book, but i know what book you would read again <what?> the old man and the sea <yeah, and that was probably the last book i read too lol>
 

7. fav hobby
photography <yea>
fishing, or golfing now <yeah, but id still rather go fishing>

8. fav date night
dinner and movie
same

9. strangest gift
ive never really gotten a strange gift
yeah, we dont really get strange gifts for each other 

10. best vacation
either our honeymoon cruise or cruise we got engaged on
defintely the cruise we got engaged on, it was really the only vacation we have gone on alone and had a really good time without anyone else  

<note: on our honeymoon we met with my best friend when she lived in st thomas, so it tech wasnt completely alone> 

11. first date
skipping school and going to the court house <that wasnt really a date>
i dont think we actually ever went on a "first date" <we went on alot of date> 

12. first kiss
same as question 11 <we didnt kiss that day>
honestly cannot remember <so it was the time at the court house> no, i promise you we did not kiss that time, but i just cant remember when the first time was :/

13. fav dessert
strawberry shortcake <and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and cannolis....i have a sweet tooth>
tiramisu <yep>

14. fav sport
softball <probably>baseball or golfing <yeah probably>

15. fav restaurant
melting pot <fo sho!>
Roasted Pepper, Franco & Vinnies, Giannis, anything italian, oh and mexican too! <Roasted Pepper is too far, but yeah prob all of those> 

16. excites you
<somehow we completely missed this question. oops>

17. name of first pet
butterscotch? <close, cinnamon, but they were both golden retreivers>umm, chuck? <no cracker, a black lab> cracker? why did you name your black lab cracker? <because his tail was constantly hitting the wall, and it made a crack sound>

18. fav household chore
making the beds <i guess, i dont really like any chores lol>cooking dinner <i dont think thats a chore but ok> 

19. home from work, first activity
to say hi to matthew <well i was going to say, go pick up matthew, but same thing>go take a poop (sorry tmi) <i always say hi to my son first...then go poop> lmao

20. eggs cooked
scrambled, with cheese, the way i make them <YEP!>over easy, a little runny <thats not how you order them, you just say over easy, then i make them runny> whatevs

So basically, hubs knows me extremely well, and i could probably pay a little bit more attention lol, but at least we had a good 20mins of casual fun conversation. I definitely suggest trying this with you significant other and see how well you now each other! If you do, blog about it and leave the link so I can read all about it!

 

the house debate

The house we currently live in is our first home. Ive only ever lived 2 other places in my life. The first being my parents, and the second being our first apartment. All three places are within 10 mins of each other. Heck, the first and last are 2 blocks away from one another. Basically, i love the area we live in. Well.....technically I dont, not the exact area, but the overall area.

If you were born and raised here, like I was, there is a huge difference from living out east and living out west. Im an east girl. Hubs? Hes a west boy. Now, lets get a few things straight here, the distance between those places is no more than 30 mins from each other. Which isnt a huge difference. But the main difference, at least to me, is the closeness to the beach. I love the beach. I love being 5 mins from the beach. Ironically, i dont go to the beach often, but i feel more comfortable and at ease knowing its that close. Hubby, on the other hand, hates sand. Like despises it. Which is a huge reason I dont frequent the beach as often. Its basically a special occasion if he goes with (like Tortuga or this Sat when we take matthew for his first beach trip).

However, a major down side of being closer to the beach is that the price of homes is way higher. And the homes are older or brand new mansions. Basically, we either live in a fixer-upper or win the lotto. Ill let you guess which is our current situation.... But it was only natural for me to look in the area Im from when we were in the market for our current house. And when we found an awesome deal in the neighborhood I grew up in, i couldnt pass it up.

Fast forward 2.5 years. We are still in the same house. A house that has become our home. A fixer-upper indeed. Endless renovations for sure. Huge potential definitely. But, and Im being honest here, we didnt really put lots of thought into the whole family atmosphere. When I was growing up, sure there were kids everywhere you looked in this neighborhood. But its been 27years, and things have changed. The population of the city we live in is highly gay. Not that this is bad, it actually is extremely nice. I love my neighbors. Andplusalso, they maintain their houses way better than alot of the outer areas around here. Which helps in raising the value of the homes as well.

But with that being said, there arent nearly as many, if not any, children in the neighborhood. We live 3 blocks away from an elementary school and the majority of the kids attending are bussed in from outer areas. And I want my kids to grow up with kids. I want them to be able to go out front and play baseball in the street with the neighbors. Things that I used to do, and memories I cherish, when I was growing up.

Now the neighborhoods hubby grew up in are still currently family neighborhoods. Lots of kids. Lots of parks. Better schools. Cheaper, bigger, and newer houses. Its only natural for hubs to want to move back out west. And honestly, the idea is very attractive. Our friends actually bought a house in the area hubs would like to move to, about a year ago. And again being completely honest here? I am so jealous of their house.

So, what makes me bring this up, is we are currently trying to help my mother-in-law try to find a house. She just closed on the sale of her house in texas and is finally ready to start looking for one here in Florida. Of course, the houses in Texas are WAAAAAAYY cheaper and on ALOT more land. So shes having difficulty finding something in her price range that is as nice as her house was in Texas.

I offered to try and help find a few places for her to look at and hubs has taken her around our neighborhood as well. Well on Saturday while we were out looking at houses, hubs called one of the for sale sign numbers and was talking to a local realtor. Somehow he got into a conversation about our house and what she thought our house might sell for. And basically, if we finish doing what were planning on doing (enclosing the carport, remodeling the bathroom, & painting the house) plus with the stuff we've already done (new roof, renovated the kitchen, new tile throughout, new windows, carpet in the bedrooms) that our house could basically sell for double what we paid, thanks to the location were in.

So of course, the next conversation that was brought up was about us selling our house. Now dont get me wrong, ive known all along that this would most likely not be our forever house. And that we would probably only be here for a max of 5 years. But im just not ready to move. Yes I want a bigger house. Yes I want more room for more kids. But, i know that just because our house has gone up in property value, doesnt mean we will be able to find another house that fits our needs in the same area. I know most likely if we move its going to be out west. And as selfish and stubborn as it may sound, i really dont want to move out west :(

I dont see why we cant finish the house projects we have in store, and then continue living her for another couple of years. I mean technically, our lot is one of the bigger lots in the neighborhood. We have a huge yard. And its hard to find a big lot in this area. We could literally enclose our back patio. Add another patio. Add a pool. And still be perfectly fine with space. We could even add on additional rooms, whether it be a second story or on the sides, and make it our forever house. But hubs disagrees, and doesnt think its worth it to put in that much money when we could make double by selling.

Its a huge debate going on in our house. And in reality it shouldnt even be a debate until we get the aforementioned projects completed. However, its so hard not to browse Trulia for houses we could afford while helping my mother-in-law out. Maybe we will find another awesome deal and be able to stay out east. We shall see....

fridays letters (giveaway winner announced)

 

dear hubby, i know this week was a hard week for  us, but i think after sitting down and having a civilized conversation we made some real progress. there are things that still need to change, for both of us, but im just glad that we were able to see each others points. just know, I may not like you some days, but I always love you.

dear matthew, thank you so much for sleeping through the night last night! mommy needed some sleep, badly, and so did you. today you woke up in such a better mood. Smiling at me as I walked through your door, i knew today was going to be much better than this past week

dear hair, what is up with you lately? i just cant seem to figure you out. youre kinda too long, but i dont want to cut you. bangs overgrown, do i really want bangs? you've been incredibly greasy lately and I dont know why. so greasy that last night i didnt even put conditioner in (something Ive never done) and yet this morning you still feel yucky. what the h-e-doublehockeysticks is going on?!?!?! get it together. any suggestions on making my hair not so greasy, would be greatly appreciated.

dear reese's peanut butter eggs, you will be the death of my. ive already eaten 2 and its not even 2pm yet. i bought you to pt in hubs easter basket, but it doesnt look like youll be making it that long in our house.

dear pottery barn kids, thanks for making such cute easter baskets! i got matthew the peter rabbit one and it came this week. i die of the cuteness!

dear spring, im so glad youre finally here! its beautiful outside (although a lil overcast today) with the windows open and the wind airing out the house. if only someone else could do my sping cleanign for me ;)

dear previous employer, thank you so much for the surprise performance bonus check that came in the mail. i was not expecting you at all, but you came at just the right time, as i needed to order a new convertible carseat for matthew and was dreading the $250 price tag. This makes it so much easier.

dear old navy, why must you have so many cute dresses? i want all of them! i only bought 2, but i might go back for more colors. hehe

dear hubby, i didnt expect you to meet me at matthews pedetrcian appointment on wednesday, but Im actually kind of glad you did. it was great to have the doctor tell you that nothing is wrong with matthew and that hes just teething and acting like a normal baby. i already knew this, and have told you multiple times, but i guess it took a professional to tell you for you to actually believe it.

dear matthew, im so proud of how good youve become while eating at restaurants. wednesday night it was well past your bedtime by time we got to the restaurant and I was for sure that we would have to leave early due to you being up for so long with no nap. but you surprised all of us by being extremely well behaved, eating dinner, and just playing with your toy while the rest of us finished. you only started getting cranky when the bill came. thank you for being such a good boy!

And before I forget, the winner of the CROODS giveawy is:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congrats again Allison!

You must be one lucky lady, as you won my last giveaway too!!

And i know I usually leave you with a photo, but i thought this little video was better. We gave Matthew a lemon at dinner wednesday night and he loved it, although his face may tell you different ;)

Hope ya'll have a great weekend! And dont forget to link up with Ashley for Fridays Letters!

mommy meltdowns

                                                       Source: etsy.com via Lisa Bartek on Pinterest

as a mom, a wife, a woman....hell, as a person, we all experience an occasional meltdown. And today just happen to be that day for me.....

it all started off at 3am this morning. as Ive mentioned a couple times in my most recent posts, Matthews been sick. ALOT. Its hard as a mom to see you baby get sick. Especially how often as matthew has been getting sick. it puts that little question in the back of my mind, "Is it something Im doing? Something im exposing him too? Feeding him? Not feeding him?" The list goes on and on. I try to tell myself that all babies get sick. But its hard to convince myself thats truly the case. Especially when you have friends whos babies have never been sick, let alone this often, and are only a month or two younger than matthew.

I think ive been to the pediatricians office more in the past 3 weeks than Ive been to my own doctor in the past year. Partially due to an overprotective new father, who constantly thinks we should take the baby to the doctor. I think I bring him in more often just to ease hubs mind than to actually get answers. Sometimes its justifiable, like the recent virus/rash situation, but other times Ive been given the side-eye from the nurses too, "He's teething, hes a baby, hes ok, dont worry." All things I know. But, still, i manage to take the time off from work, spend the extra $30 copay to "see" the dr for 5 mins, and then go on our merry way with the advice to give him some motrin or tylenol if you see hes really uncomfortable.

Then i go back to the over-thinking side of me. I feel like were constantly giving him medicine. I dont like the idea of pumping medicine into his little body. We already give him zantac every morning and afternoon so he can keep his food down. But now, also the cold medicine (Azithromycin i think?), mortin/tylenol for teething, and breathing treatments when necessary. Again, this just sounds like a lot to me. Couldnt I be doing something better for him? Keeping him healthier so he doesnt get sick as often?

But back to my mommy meltdown. So this morning, 3am remember? Matthew wakes up. Basically right at the 7 hour mark of when I last gave him Motrin. I try to calm him down. Try to get him to go back to sleep. Change his diaper. Rock him. Basically anything to not give him more medicine. I even resort to bringing him back into our bed to fall asleep. Which I accomplish in a matter of 10mins, only for Matthew to be woken up by our barking dog.

Then theres more crying. And hubs is finally awake (yes, somehow hes been sleeping through this whole thing), and starts yelling. Im not quite sure if its at me or matthew. But somewhere in the mist of all the yelling i catch a "stop babying him!" EXCUSE.ME?!?!?!? Hes 9 months old. Ironic I know, but HE.IS.STILL.A.BABY!!! Now im mad, exhausted, irritated, and on the verge of tears (i seriously cry at everything these days) but if he thinks that Im babying him and that his solution will work better, Im all for trying it.

So I put Matthew back in his crib, give him his pacifier, blankie, and turn on the noise machine. I hop back in bed myself and feel absolutely terrible as all I can hear is his little cries over the monitor. (please know, I would never let me son cry more than absolutely necessary, and it took every ounce of willpower not to just go right in there and pick him up) But I wanted hubs to realize that his "not babying" solution, just wasnt going to cut it. Finally after about 7 mins (yes a whole 7 mins it took him) hubs got up himself and tried to calm him down. 

Now, a lil background on hubs, he gets frustrated really easily when he doesnt have a "quick solution" to something. So when Matthew starts crying he thinks we should be able to do something immediately to soothe him. Yes, in a perfect world this would be awesome, but guess what? HE'S.A.BABY! it doesnt really work like that. Needless to say hubs gets frustrated alot when it comes to matthew and not being able to calm him down. Especially when it interrupts his own sleep. (HA! welcome to a mothers world!)

Basically, the night morning ended with me back in the nursery, rocking matthew to sleep, waiting for the 2nd dose of motrin to kick in. Finally around 4:30am I was able to peacefully lay him back down and sneek back into our room. Hubs was now watching TV due to not being able to get back to bed. I knew immediately, that the rest of this day was just going to go down hill.

And sure enough, i was right. No need to go into detail, as I think you got enough of that above, but basically from the lack of sleep, exhaustion, frustration, and stress everything has gone into a butterfly effect. Its hard, especially for me--a person who likes to please everyone--to be able to control my emotions on a trying day like this. Things are said (by both parties) in the heat of the moment that arent necessarily truthful, but more to go for the juggler.  And its hard to forgive, even after apologies are said, because words still hurt.

After almost 12 years together, you would think we would know how to communicate with each other. Know how to hold back those hurtful words. Know how to calm each other down before either gets too heated. Instead, we go for the low blow? Instead, we spend another day angry? Instead, i feel absolutely helpless? To the point I suggested we see a counselor. Someone to help us communicate without ripping each other heads off, cuz at this point thats what Im ready to do. I may be balling my eyes out while I do it, but  it may just happen.

please tell me im not the only one with these mommy/wife meltdowns. please tell me, this too shall pass.......

fridays letters

 

dear hubby, thanks for making such a delicious dinner last night, not sure why we dont do burritos more often?!?! i was even able to make a healthier version for myself without having to do a whole lot of extra work. maybe this will become a weekly meal idea!

dear matthew, now that you can fully sit yourself up from a laying down position, we decided it was indeed time to lower your crib. i knew this would happen sooner or later, but Ill admit, mommy may have gotten a little teary-eyed while doing it. Youre no longer my little newborn baby. Youre still my baby, and always will be, but now youre all sorts of moving and noise-making baby. ;)

dear floors, now that we've added another dog (not forever, just doggy-sitting my mil's for time being) you need to be cleaned even more often. Plusalso, if and when matthew starts crawling anytime soon i dont want him crawling on gross floors. So basically, can you just clean yourself?

dear diet, this week its not only my goal to exercise more at least once, but to also try hitting my "healthy checks" each day. So far this morning Im already doing pretty good, so lets hope this continues. Im going to go grab my multivitamin just as soon as I finish this post, so Ill be able to check that off too. Although, I will have to look up in the WW packets how exactly to get my daily healthy oil intake. That one has also stumped me, so I usually just ignore it, but not this time. I want to try and do my best with all aspects of WW.

dear video recorder charger, if you could please make yourself appear it would be greatly appreciated. I havent been able to charge the camcorder since I unwrapped it on Christmas morning because we have no clue where you are. And the battery is going to die any day now. I dont want to miss the chance of recording matthews first time crawling. So please, i beg of you, come out of hiding.

dear pale person that stares at me through the mirror, not only do you live in south florida, but you also have a membership to the tanning salon. it is absolutely unacceptable that you are so pale. you are in some desperate need of some fake sun. you know its bad when your 6 year old niece ask "leah, whats wrong with your legs?" me "what do you mean? (as i look at them)" jenna "why are they so white?" for which my sister bursts out laughing.......thanks. just. thanks. for. that.

dear hubby, because you and matthew always get two, i think its about time we finish start another house project. I know we could really use the space by enclosing the carport (which has always been on our list), but I think remodeling the bathroom is more of a priority. Especially since matthew is physically growing out of his newborn bathtub, and it just grosses me out that our actual bathtub has cracks in it. So much so that I refuse to put matthew in it for fear there is bacteria or mold or something that might be harmful.

dear matthew, your aunt denise has forewarned me to not make alot of plans this weekend, claiming that your next tooth is going to pop out sometime in the next couple of days. You only have 2 teeth right now, the bottom middle two, but a third on the bottom left looks and feels like its coming through now. please try to be a happy boy through the pain, i know it hurts, and mommy will try and do her best to ease the pain, but I cant make it go away completely. trust me, I think all mothers would if they could.

and as always, i will never leave you without a picture or two (sorry for those who have already seen these on instagram.

p.s. dont forget to go link up with Ashley for Fridays Letters

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on being the breadwinner

this is one of those post that Ive debated on writing. Is it too personal? Will I come off sounding ungrateful? If my in-real life friends read it would they take it the wrong way? But then when I saw Becky's link up go live on Monday, I started thinking about what I would write.

You see last year I didnt participate because I honestly couldnt think of anything that I could share that would help empower, motivate, or just relate to other women. I post about the normal everyday mom/wife/woman stuff on a regular basis. But what made me different, or better yet, what made me relate-able.

And then I read a few of the link ups. And it really hit me. All these women, they are sharing the topics that empower them. Topics that they are frightened about. Topics that they wouldnt normally put on display for the whole world to see. And even if I didnt relate on the exact same situation, I at least immediately felt empowered by how they embraced each of their own obstacles. So back to the drawing board I went. I racked my brain for topics that I would normally be too intimated to share. And then it hit me. A topic that I normally dont discuss with others, let alone go full in depth about on paper. But this is who I am

i am

a

friend

wife

mother

blogger

designer

and

THE breadwinner

of our family

Ill start by saying I grew up in a "traditional" home. I say that vaguely because I am honestly not here to put down anyone who didnt, nor who isnt, brought up this way. But for me, it was understood that my dad worked and my mother stayed home. Mom would dress us, feed us, clean us, discipline us, and just overall take care of us on a daily basis. Dad, on the other hand, would leave the house by 5:30am to drive an hour to work, spend all day earning his salary, and then would sometimes make it home for dinner with us around 6:30pm. Was I close to my father? Of course! I was Daddy's lil girl, and still am. But my father not only worked his ass off every day (excuse the french), but he instilled  hard-working morals unto me. 

daddy's little girl

I always just assumed that when I one day had a family, the dynamics would be the same. Except, I knew that I wanted to have a career myself. This, as you can see, caused some contradictions in what I wanted. My sister, she knew what she wanted. She was going to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes, she went to school for nursing, and even got a job at the local hospital upon graduation. But we all knew that the job was merely a placeholder until she got married and had kids (of which happened merely a year after said job). I, on the other hand, studied, hardly ever went out, worked a full time job, plus an internship, all while getting my bachelors in Graphic Design, and started my career, just 3 months after graduation.

graduation 2008 with my parents

I felt successful. I was proud of myself. More than that, my FATHER was proud of me. I had saved money from my high-school job to be able to move out on my own (well with hubs) the summer before college. I rarely asked my parents to borrow money. I was self-sufficient to say the least. And I prided myself on that. I was responsible. I was established. I was, in-fact, a career woman.

Our First Apartment - 2004

Now, let me get back on track a minute and make it clear that I would never marry for money. Nor marry someone solely based on success. They are all admirable details, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And for my heart, it wanted Matt. He's smart, handsome, funny, a great father and husband, but since day one, he has always lacked motivation. He's the type that would rather enjoy every minute of life opposed to worry about all the tiny details. Lets just say, hes completely opposite of me when it comes to that. He dropped out of high school when he was a sophmore and got his highschool diploma before his expected graduation date. But instead of going off to college (which he now regrets), he decided to work for for his uncle laying tile. Now, it sounds bad when I write it like that, but let me make it clear that he wasnt just some "tile-setter." His father (before passing away) had established a very well known business with high-class clients. The jobs they worked on werent just your everyday kitchen tile jobs. They worked in mansions, installing marble ceilings, among the numerous remodeling projects that these millionaires had. And he was making very good money doing it.

However, he was also coming home unhappy everyday because he hated his job. And then with the economy being in the position it is, people stopped spending money on remodeling. And work got real slow. So slow, that hubs decided to try and find work in another field, hell a completely different industry. Which meant he had to start from the bottom. Something we both had talked about and agreed that it would be best for not only him, but for us. Only problem was, starting at the bottom meant a major cut in pay.

We decided it was worth it. We I had saved enough and was making decent money myself, so we could survive until he worked his way up the ladder. I had always felt like I was the breadwinner anyways since hes horrible at saving money. But now, it would be official. Our family would be depending on me to live. 

Pregnant with Matthew 2012

Then we got married, bought a house, had a baby, and here we are now. Im still the bread-winner. Now I have another person depending on me. I wont lie, it scares the hell out of me sometimes. I mean honestly, anything could happen. Hell, since we decided to make this decision my career has gone from being bought out, changed departments, bought out again, and it truly is hard to believe that my job isnt indispensable.

I love my job. I love what I do on a daily basis. But I would be lying  if I said I never thought about being a stay at home mom. It was hard enough going back to work after my maternity leave. And again, Ive always wanted a career. But I just never thought I would be put in a situation where I didnt have the option of staying home. 

I love that my husband comes home from work happy now. I love that he loves what he does. Im grateful that we both have jobs that can contribute to a great life for our son. And I am so glad that I have my sister to watch Matthew while we are both at work. But i do envy those that have the option of being a working-mom or stay-at-home-mom. I dont know, even if I had the option, if I would ever take it. But I would still like to be given the option.

Christmas 2012

Being the bread-winner of a family is alot of stress and takes a very strong and hard-working person. All of which I endure on a daily basis. When bills come around, its me who figures out when and how to pay them. When something happens to one of our cars, its me who decides if we have enough money to fix them. When its dinner time, its me who decides if were staying home or going out, and trust me, i DONT cook, so I would much rather go out. I hate that I get labeled as cheap sometimes by friends and family, but i honestly dont believe Im being cheap. In actuality its me being mindful of our finances and budget.

I know one day the choices we've made will pay off and the stress of being the bread-winner wont over come me. Maybe one day I will have the option of staying home with the kid(s), and I just might take that opportunity. But until then, if I seemed a little stressed out, you may now understand a little bit more whats going on in my little head.

from a couple that rocks, to a family that rocks!

This post is brought to you by The New Santa Fe from Hyundai. Think your family rocks? Show us by uploading a photo of your family rocking out. Enter now for a chance to win great prizes.



Its funny when I look back over the years, the memories that stand out to me always have music involved. Not like music as in any of my family members actually can carry a tune, but more like music has always been something that was apart of the happy times.

I can remember, and so can most of my close family and friends, when me and my best friend would dance on the coffee table in my parents living room while looking at ourselves in the large mirror on the other side of the room. What was on the stereo you may ask? lets see probably Sir MixALot (Baby Got Back) or 2 Live Crew or even Quad City DJs (Come on Ride that Train). Just typing that list makes me literally LAUGH OUT LOUD.  We were young and crazy and music just put everyone in a good mood. Especially when you see 2 lil white girls breaking down to some old school rap song. And yes, we.broke.it.down.

Then once I got into high school my music preferences only multiplied. Again, not like I had any musical talent whatsoever, well except if you count blaring my loud music in my old beat up saturn winds down, sunroof open, not a care in the world, singing my little heart out. (Of which multiple occasions landed me bright red faced when cute boys ended up next to me at a red light) But also I learned to enjoy all types of music. I loved listening to the oldies and classic rock stations that I had been accustomed to from my mother and father. I loved listening to rap and pop songs, you know because my "cooler" older sister and her friends did. And then my boyfriend (hubby now) introduced me to my love of country music.

Over the past 10 years my husband and I have been together, I cant even count the number of concerts we've been to. We have a long standing tradition to go to the Annual Kiss Country Chili Cookoff, where beer live performances of the top country stars put over 30,000 people in one heck of a good mood. Plus so many other random concerts, with Eric Church being our next planned concert on  Dec 15th for an early birthday present to me (and mommy first official night out without the baby...only took 6 months right?)

Yes, I was pregnant this past chili cookoff, and you best believe it didnt stop me from going. And I know people say that now that we have a kid outings like this will be few and far between, but to tell you the honest truth, I hope to involve me son in outings like this. Even with Chili cookoff. I say, bring a pack-n-play and let him listen to the music as well (although we may not venture into the event, just do the tailgating part lol)

We can already tell hes going to love music. Even when he was still instead my belly. Any time I played country music loud enough, whether in the car or just around the house, he would start kicking up a storm. And now that hes out of my tummy, he still responds to music. It may be my awful voice singing to him "You are my sunshine," or even "He's Mine" (by Rodney Atkins) but his face just lights up. And who wouldnt continue singing a lil bit louder if you got a grin like this to follow it?

What about your family? Does your family rock out in the car? Go to concerts together? Or just plain old ROCK!?!?! Well then you should def check out this fun contest going on from Hyundai Santa Fe and Rolling Stone!


Its really simple to enter, just go here, upload a pic of how your family rocks, and write a lil blurb about it. And you could win a photo shoot in Rolling Stone with your whole family, airfare, hotel and transportation to the 55th Grammy Awards, and a fully tricked-out Hyundai Santa Fe custom rock ‘n’ roller. How fun would that be? But hurry, because you only have until December 14th to enter!

Good luck!

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

when i said i do......

two years ago today i said i do

to a man i could not live with out

a man i wished of marrying for so long.

a man i dreamt about becoming a father

a man i trusted with my heart

a man i called my best friend

 i remember it like yesterday

i spent the night away from my soon-to-be husband

i woke up with my mother and sister at the hotel

it rained in the morning

but they say its good luck when it rains on your wedding day

i got ready with my girls

 

 while my seminoles beat the gators

and while the guys got ready downstairs

shots and all

 

i had dreamt of this day since i was a little girl

knowing my father would walk me down the aisle

 where i would join my prince

and our family and friends would watch

as a close friend performed our beautiful ceremony

adding special touches that really symbolized our relationship

and what it had become over the past 10 years

we had written our own vows

something he wanted us to do

something i was a little shy to do in front of so many people

but they were beautiful

he went first, then me

ive kept those small papers

with our loving words on them

his a little shorter, but just as powerful

his went like this

and mine like this

those words mean even more to me today

than they did when we said them to each other

we were no longer just

matt & lisa

we were

husband & wife

and now

two years later

we are daddy & mommy

~matt~

i love you more than words can express

you are the man of my dreams

a father to our son

and my best friend

happy anniversary

love

your one and only

also linking up with Becky to connect with other 20 something wifes, mommies, and wannabe photographers ;)

wedded bliss wednesdays: marriage advice

So since I missed out on last weeks questions, and havent had a chance to ask hubs any of the questions for this week, Id figured I would just answer last weeks questions today! (confused yet? yeah me to, just read lol)

1. If you could give one piece of advice to any married (or soon-to-be married) couple, what would it be?
Enjoy being just the two of you. I know alot of ladies out there (including myself) are in a rush to start a family as quickly as possible after the wedding ends, but really take the time to enjoy it being just the two of you. husband.and.wife. you'll have kids to worry about the rest of your life. take impromptu vacations, sleep in as late as possible, go out to dinner at expensive restaurants, hell fly across country if you can afford it! lol.
Oh and my one personal moto: never go to bed angry with each other. after 10 years with my hubs, i can count on one hand the amount of times we've gone to sleep fighting. We may have to stay up to wee hours of the morning to solve of a disagreement (and it may just to be to agree to disagree), but this way when you wake up, you can start the day fresh and forget about the previous days problems.

2. What is an absolute MUST for any marriage/relationship?
HONESTY! oh and TRUST. but I guess those both go hand and hand. And im not talking about just telling the truth to one another, im talking about honesty of the heart. meaning there are no secrets, and there is no need to even have secrets because you want to tell the other person everything. including things that make you angry, happy, sad, hopeful, and everything else! 

3. What is the #1 no-no in a marriage?
Cheating. I just hate that word. I would rather the person just say that they no longer want to be with the other, rather than going behind their back and fooling around with someone else. And this goes for both the man and woman. Again this goes back to the honesty and truth thing. It should never come to this point, but at least be honest with yourself and/or your partner about your relationship. 

4.What is the biggest lesson you have learned from your marriage?
I know it may be easy to pick a fight when you disagree about something with your significant other, but Ive come to realize that in the end, we are both in this together. Neither one of us is out to hurt the other, and were always looking out for the best interest for the other. So if there is something that is really on your mind, you have to remember to communicate with your partner. You may think its easier to just let something slide by, opposed to starting a fight about it, but if your honest (theres that word again! lol) with each other, then it will be easier to just tell your partner how you are feeling, rather than letting it boil over a couple days, weeks, or even months, and it turns into something way more, when you could have just said what was on your mind. (yes that was the longest run-on sentence ever!)

i can truly say i married the love of my life, and although he may get on my nerves ever now and again, i couldnt imagine living my life without him.

Dont forget to go link up with Allie & Kay

 

wedded bliss wednesdays: date night

Yes I know its Thursday. I dont know why this didnt publish yesterday, but whatevs, Holy moly this week has flown by! Time to link up again.

How often do you and your husband have a date night?
We dont necessarily plan one out, but since the baby was born we try to go out by ourselves at least once every 2 weeks. Even if it was just for a quick dinner at Panera Bread. We are lucky enough to live close to my parents and sister, who both completely enjoy watching Matthew for us whenever we need some time to ourselves. I think now, I have to focus more on how we can incorporate family activities into our routine. And I dont mean the normal everyday stuff, Im talking about in-the-making plans for a trip to a local pumpkin patch kind of thing.

What did you do on your first date?
lol. No need to rehash memories. Lets just say, we never really had a "first" date. The first time I went anywhere with Matt, it was actually my first time ever skipping school. My exbest friend had decided we were going to skip 4th period and convinced me. Her friend Matt (hubs) was leaving school so he said he would take us. When push came to shove, said best friend found out there was a pop quiz in her 4th hour and she couldnt miss it. And me being totally paranoid as is, to skip class, didnt want to show up to my class late, so I went with this complete stranger. (i know, so not a good role model) Turns out, the reason he was leaving school was to go to court because he had gotten arrested for trespassing on private property. Great first impression. The case was dropped but still, I had no clue.

highschool days

  What is your favorite kind of date night?
i love going to dinner and then a movie. I know its not really fancy or anything, but both me and hubby love movie theater popcorn movies. We also very much enjoy going to local art festivals. We never really end up buying anything but there are two that we like in particular Las Olas Art Festival and Coconut Grove Arts Festival. Oh and concerts too!! We've been to soooo many country music concerts since weve been together and we both really enjoy them ;)

sugarland concert September 2009

 How do you do date night on a budget?
Umm hello, have you read my recent obsession with deal sites? I swear anytime there is a groupon for movie tickets I end up buying the max allowed for that deal. I think currently we have like 4 tickets to use :D now to find a babysitter......

 
What is the best kind of date your husband could surprise you with?!
I would love if he planned a family picnic around sunset on the beach. I know he absolutely despises sand, which means we hardly ever go to the beach together. But if he set it all up because he knew I loved the beach and had everything ready to go with a bottle of wine food and the baby, i think we all could enjoy it. Especially since its started to finally get a lil cooler outside (you know high 70's low 80's lol)

this would be fine...

                                  Source: Uploaded by user via Lisa on Pinterest

Dont forget to go link up with Allie & Kay